As for royal ascot, it’s £85 a head for members this year. £95 for your guests, if i remember correctly. I know I wrote a cheque back in early Feb for just short of 400-quid for 4 royal enclosure tkts. fkn rip off. You then get ripped off for a £80 a head lunch, or 15 quid for a burger if you can take the embarassment, then £60 a bottle for house champoo – which you buy a bottle of between each race. You get absolutely bladdered, then to round it all off have to pay a doubled-up cab fare home as ‘it’s royal ascot so double usual fare, and those are the rules’, you get told. A 1500-quid day. Not sure why I’m going. And she’ll want another dress, just to round it up to 2-grand.